Veterans of the Civil Rights Movement

Poems by Nina Boal

MERIDIAN JAIL

by Nina Boal, December 1965

locked up doing time
no money to pay my fine
they take in robbers, vagrants, drunks
but i'm not drunk
i'm just a civil rights worker
from the north
who had no money
i lay in bed wondering
how i'll do my time
doze off
"SAM JONES, SAM JONES
COME HERE!"
"YOU BASTARD SONOFABITHCES
I'M NOT DRUNK!
YOU LOUSY CHICKEN-SHIT
LOWDOWN..."
"Come, get into the cell
sleep if off"
"YOU MOTHERFUCKING..."
doze off
strange beautiful dreams
about raging-orange sunsets
cool, glass-blue Lake Michigan
where you swim & let it
cool-wash over you
"HEY YOU!
get your breakfast!"
"huh?" i see the hard bed
get up & get it but i
don't feel like eating that slop
& the oppressing heat presses
eat a bisket
read my book & go off
into another world
they bring a drunk woman in
"I'M NOT DRUNK YOU BASTARDS!"
"come on."
she talks to me
"honey, you gotta help me i'm not drunk
i was sleeping, honest
i wasn't drunk."
"i understand."
"you know all men are equal
i like the colored people
i don't wanna do them bad."
"it's just skin-color," i say
"nothing else.
i don't know why people act
so strange & mean."
we smoke & talk & i go
& buy cigarettes for her
& a coke
i wonder why people get drunk
"Thank you honey, you've been
so good to me."
"it's alright."
"god, I'M NOT DRUNK!"
"i know. i'll help you."
i wish they'd get her out of here.
"honey, when i get out, i'll
buy you cigarettes & visit you.
no, i'm not drunk
yes, i'll visit you."
i want to sleep, i wish someone'd
go her bail.
"say, are you one of those
damn Freedom Riders?"
Silence
"YOU DAMN BITCH
SLUT, WHITE TRASH
YOU CAUSE ALL
THE TROUBLE HERE
YOU LOWDOWN SORRY
BITCH FREEDOM RIDER!"
"but it's just the color..."
"YOU'D MARRY A NIGGER?
HEY, GET ME OUT OF THIS CELL
WITH THIS WHITE TRASH FREEDOM RIDER!"
God, what did i do?
"BOY, I'M GONNA GET YOU!"
takes a coke bottle
"GET UNER THAT BLANKET!"
no
GET UNDER, YOU SLUT!"
no, i won't & the coke bottle shatters
on the wall
over my back & she hits me &
i go into non-violent position &
she hits some more
police come, take her off &
i feel blood on my back
trembling
they take me to a hospital
for a check up
then to see if i have venereal disease
"what happened?"
"oh" (he shrugs) "a civil rights
worker got attacked."
back in my cell on my bed
alone & peace (relatively)
what did i do to that woman?
poor twisted drunk woman
i can't hate her, she's too sorry
non-violence i guess
Love overcomes hate
"Love your enemies
bless them that curse you
do good to them that
despitefully use you."
i feel sick
the white walls
of the cell closing in
white like me
someday
when the Freedom Ship comes in
when the Freedom Train arrives...
god, i want to get out of here
we shall overcome...
shit
"hey you! supper!"
i can't eat now, dammit
next time they put someone
like that in here
i'm going to tear her apart
why didn't i do it before, i should have
but i didn't
i feel sorry for her
someday we're going to walk
hand in hand
& we're not going to hate anymore
ow, shit, my shoulder
why didn't those damn cops come sooner
why don't they treat you like
you're a human being?
someday i'm gonna...
someday that Freedom Ship's
going to arrive...
Copyright © Nina Boal, 1965, all rights reserverd.
[NOTE, 2006 by Nina Boal: "Meridian Jail" describes an incident that happened to me at the end of November, 1965 when I was 19 years of age and was jailed in Meridian, Mississippi. At the time, I was working for MFDP and CORE as a volunteer from the Chicago area; I was working in Philadelphia, MS, but had come into Meridian for a meeting. This is the first (and probably the last) poem that I've written. I am typing it online exactly as I wrote it back in 1965 (including any spelling errors).]